OK so many things have changed over the last three years hard to really explane but i think its good for me to express how i felt coped.
Ok so go back three years ago and there was just me and kierren i was on my way back to collage looking forward to new stage of my life.
But then i went to english class and i feel for someone a man in his 40s who as far as i knew was spearated from his wife for 9 or more year seprated from his recent girlfriend.
when i saw him with my son i felt that pang that pull on heart strings that makes you think omg hes not only sweet towards you but hes playing with my boy.
Then things changed 6 weeks into relationship i end up pregnant artfer being told would never happen again.
Things changed all of a suden i was having a high risk pregnancy was studying and raising a child.
well got very messy i fell in love with his children and him and due to upset of there mother i ended up having his children and him live with me for a month.
I brought the kids clouthing toys and any thing they needed i got for him and them as i cared about them as much as i did my own.
There was a few bumps in the road which now i can understand why thew fights between my three year old and his son for his time and attention.
Then i had harrasement from people for breaking up a couple even thou he had several public relationships before me.in time we had several break ups where i ended it as i had enough of what was going on but when i saw his kids i loved him and his kids that i went back . when kai was 8 weeks and had been in hospital i had pnd he ended it and in some ways it was best as i was only one caring for kj and kai.
but all that change dos woorie me about the effect on my children and his.
every day i think about his kids when i see something in the shops i think they would like i think of them. but change is good and letting go is change im going to make xxxx