Sitting on bed in theatre robe suddenly it all felt so reAl in no time I would finely meet my kierren. I had been having contractions and he been trying to come for seven days. He was 33 weeks now and with infections making me and him ill it meant he had to be delivered. The midwife came in and helped me into my wheelchair put blanket over me as she was concerned that I was shivering (I think that was more nerves then any thing). Laying on the hospital table in the anistetic room suddenly feeling pressure on my chest. The next thing I recall is waking up in the delivery suit. I called out for my baby as we were told he would be fine. But at that moment half awake not very well lost a lot of blood so was having third transfusion and told my little man was born not breathing. My sister came asked to see him and her friend my dad my mum all had seen him. I still had not seen my baby. Desperate on second day I begged to see him upset and hurt that I had been stopped from seeing my baby all I had was a photo. When finely they made a deal and said if I finished the bag of blood I had going into me then go up. Then come backdown for the next then I could go see him. Going up in the lift I felt so scared of how Ill he would be. Buzzing I finely got to say the words I wanted to say for so long hi I’m kierrens leach mum a simple thing for so many but not those who like me felt not like a mummy. As never had are baby by are bed side. Going down towards the hot room you pass the nursery were babies who near ready To go home are there. Then west room were baby’s who need some care but out of danger. Then we were there outside the hot room were my baby was. My mum opened the door and pointed towards this little mAn in incubator in the corner . Opened the little port hole I could just reach inside and touch him. All those tubes and wires were scary. But this little man was not as helpless as he looked he soon showed them how cheeky he could be.