some times it takes that bitter-sweet feeling of holding tears back to know that its time to say ok i can let go now.  But how when ever i think of you i still feel like i did at 19 nieve and consumed  by feelings of passion.But really it is just t the memories or do i still care for you in that way as it was on and of for 5 years yet its been 6 years now. I loved you so much and still think of you now as we never did end it properly so here is how i plan to end it if you ever read this then good you will finely know the truth. We could have had what you always wanted but you could never let go of what you were always told was meant to  be.And you could  never let go of the pain of you childhood,THE ANGER AND RESENTMENT IT HELD FOR YOU never let me in as you said it hurt  to much to.I wish you could understand how you have effected me over the years still loving you stopped me fully loving another. I hope you have found your true happiness and your dreams have come true.  I want you to know if you have found some one and have a family you wanted.I always remember the laughter and tears the drama and love we had it only seems like yesterday but time has flown by. Those were the carefree days of my youth  when we had all the time in the world and life was a matter of moments no cares or regrets. My only regret was that we never ended it clear-cut.We never said good-bye . I was hurt and mad  young and unaware of the effects of heart-break.  but this is why i need to say this now  take a deep breath and let it go.

You were my first love and first heart-break, you were the first person to truly understand me and let me be me. For that i am truly grateful.  i hope that  your dreams have  come true and life is good to you.  You deserve to have all your hopes and dreams you are a good person and you deserve to have a good life with someone who loves you for the amazing person you are.

All that is left to say is good-bye my sweet  and know i will always be your friend and here to help.

Let the music play as i go and watch the titles end in respect for this friend

(there is only one person who will know what line above means but its a hint that this is to him)

From julie


love from  julie


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