just thoughts muddled up thoughts

even thou i am not with my sons dads and me are no longer together i will say one thing you can not have a child with someone and not have  feelings for that person at all. Because you still love the person you new at that point that you conceived that child with you may not be in love with them but you will still love them as they are apart of your child.  I look at my sons and feel an over whelming love for my little boys but one part of me feels upset. Upset that my boys don’t have the family they entitled to not a mum and dad and to kids . Both of them have not had a stable dad they had no dad or one that barely there. I wonder if there would be any damage to them or if the things iv done to give them strong male role models has stopped any damage to them long run. But you see the generation of single parent kids that now coming to age. And you here all this stuff about high risk of boys born to single mothers who are more likely to do time in jail for high risk crime. And people tend to blame it on lack of male role models i some times wonder and worry but then i think dont be stupid that just something to blame a reason to explain why some kids turn out bad and something for lawyers to use to get less time . i try do everything to give my boys male role models that are strong good men and i dont have to look far i just have to say to my dad and he jumps at chance to spend time with the boys.  kids are not born bad they blank slate so why would simple thing as no dad around why would it mean they then hurt people nope. might be case of parent not putting rules in place i believe that people see women as being weak parents as in the whole thing of mums saying wait till your dad gets home. Well i found that when your a lone parent you learn to be good cop and bad cop in one person. you learn that you have to stick to your guns as no one there to back you up. Also up side you get all the rewards .


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